Why Do Couples Fight?
Can curiosity be the thing that stops you and your partner from anguing? Harville Hendrix PhD and co-creator of Iago Relationship Therapy thinks it's one of the key ways partners can bring peace back into the relationship.
In an interview with Huffington Post, Harville Hendrix PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt PhD talk about conflict as a gift and a means to growth and healing in intimate relationships.
Harville: You can’t have a great relationship unless it’s emotionally safe; it has to be predictable and reliable. You need to be able to count on the fact that when you’re around your partner you’re not going to get hurt or be criticized, put down, or shut out. When we first agreed to no negativity we though we needed to replace it with positivity. But that didn’t work. In the end, we replaced it with curiosity. If you’re curious about the other then it becomes exciting to learn about them and their inner world and when they open up you are able to be empathetic and they feel safe. Safety is essential to being able to connect, and when you’re connected you are joyful to be alive.
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